photo by Hanssie Trainor
Happy 3 Year Anniversary my sweet hubby. It has been an amazing journey thus far. We moved to Boston. We bought a condo. We had a baby. It is so clear to me that life is more complete with you in it. I love you!
Cheers to the next years together babe!
And for those of you who know me from my wedding planning/blogging days… it has taken 3 years, but I can honestly say that enough time has passed for me to love our wedding just the way it was… every triumph and every flaw… just the way it was!
I drafted this post while still pregnant. I’m returning to it now because the worst thing has happened. We lost our first baby… our Jadey Girl. I’ll let you read what I originally wrote before telling you what happened.
Before the arrival of our human baby, I thought I would give our fur babies a little love on here. This is our Jade Fox. I lovingly call her my Jadey Girl. She’s both beautiful and incredibly smart. Take these 2 photos as evidence of both characteristics!I love my kitty girls so much, but sometimes I sit, watch them play, and I worry that they will not get the attention they have become accustomed to after our little guy arrives.
Anyone else have these fears? What ended up happening when your little one arrived?
What I feared most happened. With Little L’s arrival, my recovery from the delivery, my parents visiting to help out… our little fur babies got neglected. My parents tried to play with them, but it just wasn’t the same. Hubs noticed how restless they were getting. He really wanted them to live a more fulfilling life. So we decided to let them venture outdoors. In the past we have given them supervised porch time. We worried though because our other cat, Xena, would jump up on the railing. She’s not exactly the most graceful cat. So we worried she would fall. So we experimented with letting them venture out on their own to see how far they would go and when they would come home. The experiment went well for 2 days.
On the third day of being let out, we got a knock on the door from our neighbor. He found our Jadey Girl in a pool of blood on his driveway. The other neighbors in his building had run her over. I went out with Little L in my arms….
Needless to say, we are devastated and in utter shock.
Advice to others about to have a child… please make sure you make plans for your fur babies to be taken care of in those first weeks of having a newborn. Don’t assume that you’ll have time, you won’t.
Let’s cut to the chase already… I disappeared to have a baby. No surprise right? Allow me to introduce my little family: me, hubs, and Little L.
Little L arrived weighing 8 lbs 15.9 oz and 21″ long. I hope to share my delivery and his birth story with you someday soon. It was a great experience, and I’m very happy with it. The short of it is that I completely missed early labor, arrived at the birth center 6 cm dilated and 90% effaced, pushed for 4.5 hours, and did so without medicine.
So let’s catch you up for a sec. Here are my photos from the end of my pregnancy.
And the last pregnancy photo I took…
On the morning of my due date (40 weeks), my water broke and I never got a chance to take a photo until after Little L was born and we took that first photo at the top of the page.
Little L is going to be 4 weeks old in a couple days. Here’s a recent photo of him…
Since the day before my water broke, I haven’t had more than 4 hours of consecutive sleep. It’s amazing that I can still function!
How did you all make it through the “4th trimester” (i.e., the first 3 months)?
Happy Friday, y’all!
Enjoy some of these reads from around the net. Note that they aren’t all necessarily new, but they’re worth some attention, nevertheless.
- 8 Foods We Eat in the U.S. that are Banned in Other Countries [source]
- Guy on ‘shroms pulls off his own penis! Drugs are bad for you, kids. [source]
- Joy from Bijou Lovely has 10 wonderful tips for improving your photos.
- Ignorant people tweet their racist comments after the San Francisco crash tragedy. And there are people who think racism doesn’t exist. Craziness. People also need to learn compassion and have heart. [source]
- Illinois House Rep. Tammy Duckworth will not let people scamming the VA system off the hook. Rock it, sister! [source]
In Chapter 2, Sandberg discusses the need for women to be more confident. Well, okay. For the most part that is a good point. Confidence is important. However, I wonder if a more relevant concept might be “Accuracy of Personal Evaluations”. So for example, it’s not about being more confident in your skills but in actually understanding what your skills are and what they are not. This may be the first step. You can’t be confident if you don’t understand where you stand, what you have, and what you’re worth.
So whose responsibility is it to ensure that women know their worth? Is it each woman’s responsibility or society’s? maybe our educators, leaders, bosses? Certainly the answer isn’t as simple as one might think. All these people, including each woman, plays a role. Confidence without the skills is easily arrogance and obnoxious.
So if you have a difficult time being more confident, maybe it’s worth trying to get a better sense of what your skills are and what you are worth.
In 2010, I discussed the idea of senseless modesty during my job search. I wrote that the idea of modesty and humility held me back. It caused me to keep telling people that I was “lucky” to get a job offer. I didn’t take credit for all the work I had put in, the years of work in fact. I needed to understand and take ownership of my work.
In some countries like Japan, the idea of saving face and giving face allows people to maintain their humility (save face) and others they interact with are quick to award effort and labor effort (give face). In the U.S. this idea is not consistent and has been shown to hold women back.
- Evaluate yourself – Figure out and understand your own skills and worth
- Have confidence – be honest and own your skills and worth
- Give face – acknowledge the worth of others when appropriate
via Run into Flowers
The fourth of July was always a family holiday for us growing up…. BBQs at the beach or a day at Disneyland and always ending with fireworks. That’s what freedom and independence means for us.
How are you celebrating today and over this long weekend?
Here it is… me in my full term glory. Happy and excited that the end really does feel nearer. When? Who the heck knows, right? Modern medicine still hasn’t got a handle on when babies come, just a range. So we’re within range.
People aren’t joking when they say that the end is uncomfortable. It really is. I want to be grateful for our little guy and enjoy the last days of being a mama-to-be, but the inability to get comfortable when I sleep, sleep, stand, walk, eat.. heck.. anything is getting difficult. Did I mention that the heat is a slap in the face! I think my body is naturally running about 10-15 degrees higher than the room/air temperature. Poor hubs sleeps under sheet, comfortable, and a quilt while I sleep with nothing covering me and an additional fan.
If you’ve given birth, I would love if you would share stories/links to your birth stories and which week you ended up going into labor. My sense (or maybe my hope) has been that I would end up having a 38 week baby. Our midwife is going with 41 weeks because that’s the average for first time moms.
Any stories or guesses?